Im so Engaged and it all began with a :)

So I never post on my blog anymore. I know... im a terrible person! But since I have had a pretty freaking great change in my life I thought I could let you know what's been going down these last few months.

So at the start of this semester I moved into a new complex that I was less than happy about moving into... lol. But I felt like that is where I needed to go... so I did. I met some new people at the start of the semester. One of which was Megan Tanner, my next door neighbor whom I knew I would be friends with. We were buddies in no time. Then she introduced me to her brother, Benson, at church. I thought he was cute but figured I was too old for him and didn't think much of it.BUT THEN...
the next week or so he came over to play games with us and man... I fell right then and there for him. He was so attractive and so cute I could barely keep myself from asking him out myself. But I didn't... instead I told his sister that I thought he was adorable and I think he and I should get together. She liked the sound of that almost as much as I did.... YESSSSSSS!

So the next day I saw that Benson was doing homework over at Megan's apartment and I was like ... o man I really want to be here with him. So... I got my homework from my apartment and made up an excuse about my room mates being to loud or something so I just NEEDED to do my homework over where he was.So he and I along with Liz started on our homework party. I donno how much homework Benson got done but my "reading" was not very effective. We ended up giggling and enjoying each others company. The night got later and later and I was done with my homework but Benson was still there. I didn't want to leave him alone with another girl so I tried to stay up as long as I could but soon I was too tired to take it any longer. So I gave up and said I was going home to sleep. Right as I said that Benson jumped up and was like. "Yea me too!" So as he followed me out I asked him if he wanted to see my new bike, and so he followed me the few steps to my door. Then after a few more random conversational questions he asked for my number!!! What??? O man I about died with excitement. I was so giddy that after he left I went back to the other apartment to tell Sara and Liz. Then before I went to bed I texted him this: :) Yep thats it. He text me back about how much fun he had had and so it all began with a :) (smile).

The very next day we text a fair amount and then we ended up hanging out again at Megan's apartment that night. Then to my excitement the same process that had happened the night previously occurred again. He left when I did and followed me to the door. This time however he asked me out on a date for Saturday night. Of course I said yes and then proceeded to jump for joy!! I even text my mom multiple times telling her about these experiences so ask her ... she has the proof.

So we saw each other everyday up until our date night and talked a lot. This happened to be Liz's birthday so we were going to dinner for her bday already and Benson tagged along. I told him that I would pay for him to come to dinner, since it wasn't technically part of his date plans. But in my head I really just wanted to pay for it so that from that point forward I could tell people that I took him on our first date. Once we were at the restaurant he realized this threat to his manhood and when the checks came he literally knocked me over to pay for it. It was pretty funny because one of Liz's bday cakes had one of my finger prints in it because of this. Anyways we watched the BYU football game with Liz and her bday crew and because space was limited Benson and I had to share a chair... O YEA! Already snuggling...!! Woot! So after that we finally got to go on our date. We went to Classic Skating. I was soo nervous because I knew that I liked him so much and I just wanted to be cool but me and skates... do NOT equal cool. The announcer at the rink said that the next song was a couples only song and that you could hold hands. I was really excited for this. It felt soooo good but I knew this wasn't real because it was just cuz we were at the skating rink. I was so nervous about the whole situation that I ended up giving myself a stomach ache. We took this picture in the arcade on our way out.




I remember on the drive home even though I didn't feel good we were blasting something silly like Avril Lavigne and dancing and singing to it in the car. I just felt so happy and so good at that moment. I knew this was the start of something great. Later that night we watched a movie and held hands (in front of his sister and her boyfriend... no big deal)! I was so happy I thought I might die from the happiness.

After our date we saw each other everyday and kept in contact through mostly text the rest of the time. There was one day where things weren't quite as awesome as they had previously been and I was soooooooo nervous he had decided he didn't want to hang out with me anymore. I couldn't eat at all that day. Man I was FREAKING out! Then that night he brought me some leftover sushi to me at work and asked if he could pick me up. He did and that night we talked about what was going on and Benson told me that he wanted to be with me. What a relief. I was sill a little shaken up but we decided to be "official" and not date anyone else. Then as he was leaving my apartment he gave me a big hug. I knew he was going to try to kiss me but I was not sure if I was ready for that yet. Then he grabbed my head and gave me the sweetest first kiss I have ever had. I was sooo glad that he had kissed me too!

So from that day forward we were together everyday any time we were not at school or work. So although we have technically only been dating for 4 months, it has been non-stop togetherness the whole time. So we got to know each other really well in a speedy matter.

A while into our relationship my parents were coming into town to do some shopping for my little brother Kevin who was leaving on his mission soon. So Benson got to meet my family. They all fell in love with him. They too could see that there was something truly special about this one. I remember one night we were playing the game Scene It on Jason's XBOX and it was my whole family, minus Kyle & Lauren and it just felt so right. Benson fit in so perfectly with my family. I have dated some interesting characters in the past and so I had been a little nervous to introduce them to my family but with Benson it wasn't scary at all. I was really just excited for them to see how wonderful he really was. That night we drove home from Lehi to drop Benson off back at home. We sat and talked for a little bit in the car. We had this little thing we would do when we were talking to each other where I would say "Tell me something" and he would tell me something about himself or his life that I didn't know. So that night I did just that and asked "Tell me something" and he kinda hesitated and so I added "The first thing that comes to your mind". Benson then got a really big smile on his face. He grabbed my head and put his mouth to my ear and whispered "I love you". I was both shocked and excited. Luckily he kissed me right away so I didn't have to respond yet but then I quickly told him I loved him too! It was a REALLLLLY REALLLY GOOD NIGHT!!!

We continued to date and see each other constantly. I found myself so happy. I just felt so good about our relationship. We made a couple trips to Vegas and to Boise so that we could get to know each other's families more. I loved his family so much. I felt so comfortable with them. I didn't feel judged or unwanted. I LOVED IT. It all just felt so right.

Right before my brother went into the MTC we all went to the temple together and Benson came too. It was such a pivotal and special day for Benson and I. I won't go into details because its so personal but long story short we knew we were going to get married. Now the waiting game began. We were both pretty poor so I didn't think we would be able to get engaged anytime soon. But I guess I was wrong. So when Christmas break came around Benson and I had to be apart for the first time really. This was a rough 9 days. We missed eachother soooo much. I was really excited to fly to Ogden to be with Benson and his family who were staying at their grandpas house. It was my birthday and I got way more than I expected that day!

So here is the story from Benson's perspective.


So.. Kaitlyn left for Vegas and I knew I had limited time to get all my ducks in a row to get this thing ready for her birthday. I know a jeweler that used to be in our ward, so I chatted with her and she hooked me up. I had Kaitlyn fly up and we met in Ogden and had dinner at this restaurant, similar to Texas Roadhouse. I had been sending “hints” that led her to believe that I hadn’t bought a ring and it would be another few weeks until I had… But I talked to the waitress, gave her the ring and had her bring it out with dessert. Kaitlyn thought they were coming to sing to her… little more than singing . Anyways. I was really nervous, like, the whole time. I remember enjoying the food, but I ate soooo fast because I wanted the waitress to hurry and bring our dessert.



Back to me:
I was pretty surprised. I didn't even know what to do with myself for probably an hour. But I must say this will go down in my personal history as the best birthday EVER!

I could not be happier. I am going to marry the most amazing man EVER! He seriously makes me feel soo good about myself and feel so loved. I am so excited about our future together. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. For a long time I wondered if I would ever find a love like this and really be happy. Now I know it can! I am so excited for the next few months. ITS FINALLY MY TURN!!

So the wedding will be on May 5th in the Las Vegas Temple. It's going to be awesome!!!!!!! Be there! ;D


Love you all!

...Just Kaitlyn (and Benson)

its been some time ...

These last few months have flown by and I have decided I am a terrible blogger! I am pretty busy with life but I know people who are busier and still Blog. So I have no excuses. So here are some quick updates on what has been keeping me busy:


1) I am on the Choose to Give executive committee and our campaign week is coming up soon and so I have been running around trying to finalize videos, have photo shoots, and lots and lots of meetings. It's a neat experience though. I am learning a lot of organizational skills and a lot about team work.

2) I just got called a couple weeks ago as the Relief Society President. I am really excited for this calling. The thing I am most excited about is having stewardship again. There is nothing like having the blessing of praying for the people you are over and receiving revelation about what they can grow closer to the Savior. LOVE IT! I have missed it since the mission. Not that I can't receive inspiration without this calling but its at a much larger scale and i really enjoy it.

On Wednesday I got together with my presidency for a photo shoot... :D We dressed like super heroes! So fun. We will use the pictures with our contact info and give it to all the girls in the ward so they will know "WE ARE HERE TO SAVE THE DAY" if they ever need anything from us.



3) My social life (dating life) has been an int resting one lately. I have been having a hard time to be honest. I feel as though I am cursed! haha. The boys I like, don't like me and the boys that like me are not my type or a lot of times are the room mates of the guys I like. I have really bad luck man!!! Especially because not only do I find out they guys I like, dont like me, I usually have to find out in a very unpleasant way. This has caused me to want to give up in a lot of ways. It makes it hard for me to want to put myself out there when, all I get is... well hurt! But I have realized the blessing of these challenges (or at least I realize there are blessings connected to them). I know that they Lord is building me and my character to be able to be a greater instrument in His hands. He's got something big in store for me that needs me to be strong, full of faith and not easily knocked down. Pretty much He's just toughen me up :D! But... It will all work out. Just gotta trust the Lord! My favorite quote right now is one by Neal A. Maxwell that says " Faith in God includes faith in His timing". :D

4) School is always keeping me busy. I am in a fantastic class right now called Adult Development and Aging. I LOVE IT! We talk about old people and get to do service hours working with them and it's so my kind of thing. It has helped me realize a lot about what is really important in life. We had to read "Tuesday's with Morrie" for the class. O MAN... TOTALLY RECOMMEND IT! I am so glad I did. Life is really about loving people and building relationships. Those are eternal!

Anyways! Sorry this is pretty bland but my life is pretty CRAZY right now! ... off to do homework and do some C2G work!


just Kaitlyn!

Sorry to brag...

BUT I AM SO EXCITED! At work they give away two awards at the end of the year. One to a leadership member and then one to a regular employee. Each employee nominates one person (other than themselves) and then they give it away at the end of semester banquet. So long story short... I got it! I was so surprised that I almost didn't stand up. Anyways... I hope this isn't prideful but I am so excited, probably because I am so surprised. So here is what they gave us to read before we gave our votes!

The Blair Thompson Award is named after a former BYU Telefund employee who was tragically killed in an automobile accident. Blair worked 2 ½ years here and was an amazing example of enthusiasm, work ethic, and positive attitude. She was a joy to work with. Your nomination for this award should be a caller who embodies the qualities of a great Telefund employee and co-worker.


today i feel a little more than.....

just Kaitlyn

101 Kaitlyn-isms

So here are 101 things you probably didn't know (or want to know) about me! I did this a while back on a roomie blog I had and so I edited it a little and now here you can have a small glimpse into the real me...

Kaitlyn 101 begins now! :D

1. I make noises (like grunts and moans) when I am frustrated, sick and or tired. Or just random doo do doooos and la la to show my happiness.
   
2. I used to be obsessed with Lisa Frank stuff when I was younger and still feel a strange gravitational pull when I see it at walmart.
3. People think my favorite color is pink since my camera and lap top are that color but if you step into my room you will see what it really is… YELLOW!! They just don’t make things in a good yellow.
4. I bought my laptop and video ipod the day I got my wisdom teeth out. WAY TO GO DRUGS!!
5. I used to be a cheerleader when I was in 3^rd grade and I have hated them ever since.
6. Since I don’t have a middle name I used to pretend it was Samantha when I was little.
7. I would live in my PJs if it was socially correct and it totally should be!!1
8. People like to steal my DVDs…. Grr
9. Manatees are the best animals ever! So fat and floaty.
10. I love talking in different voices and will often get caught doing it when im alone.
11. I love my family sooooo much. My brothers are the greatest ever!
12. I have an obsession with cute socks
13. I served a mission in NYC! I never left the city and spent most of my time in Harlem and the Bronx.
14. My aunt was Ms. Nevada and my Grandma was in the Miss America Pageant. Wonder where those lovely genes disappeared to??
15. Swedish Fish are my favorite candy and gobstoppers are a close second.
16. When I was younger my imaginary friend was a walrus. I sadly cant remember his name at this time…
17. I was born a month premature and have some funky funky ribs because of it.
18. I can make a three leaf clover with my tongue
19. I work every Thursday with special needs kids. Just playing and having FUN!
20. I love to cook and love cookbooks. Whenever I go in a book store I go straight for the cook books.
21. I write daily in my “happy things book” to remind me of the good things in life!
22. I have a very keen sense of smell. So if your rankity or stankity… keep away!
23. I have a list of things I want to do before I die which include things from going on a humanitarian aid trip to skinny dipping!
24. I may or may not be obsessed with Victoria’s Secret.
25. I have lived in the same house my whole entire life (minus college and mission).
26. I love deeply and will do anything for the people I love.
27. I want to be the greatest mother in the world. I have so many great ideas (both written and in my head) that I want to do with my future family.
28. The Beatles rock my world.
29. Jack Johnson also rocks my world.
30. I REALLY REALLY love music and especially getting new music. I have spent 500+ dollars on itunes. I love that place.
31. I would always rather spend my money on someone I love than on myself. 100% of the time.
32. I hate doing dishes but love vacuuming.
33. I had my first kiss when I was 18.5. Surprised??? Haha I hope not.
34. I had a small collision with me and in a car and a kid in my ward on a bike when I was 16. Fortunately it was his fault cuz I was going like 5 mph in a parking lot when he flew around the corner and smacked into the side of my car. I still bawled my eyes out and vowed to never drive again.
35. I shot my little brother in the eye with a rocket… during his birthday party. I didn’t do it on purpose and also bawled my eyes out and vowed to never shoot rockets again. He still brings it up often btw.
36. When I was little I used to think those big pink bubble gum cigars that said “it’s a girl” on it were the coolest things ever. I would save money for them.
37. I have a hard time crying in front of people but when I am alone… o man I can cry a river!
38. I love old people. A lot.
39. I try to keep all the ticket stubs from movies and significant outings and write whom I went with on the back. I have a lot now and often look at them and reminisce.
40. My dad was in a band since he was 11 up until he became bishop. He used to play at all the BYU dances when they still had live bands. That’s pimp. :D
41. I must sleep with a fan. For the noise and the coldness.
42. I could dance all day every day. Especially if I had my favorite dance partners. OOO BABY!
43. Harry Potter completes me.
44. I usually get Streap (?) throat or some other major throat sickness once a year. Thank you post nasal drip!
45. I really love a good hug. It’s so much more personal than a kiss.
46. I have never dyed my hair. Tried to get low lights once but my hair lady refused cuz she said people die to have my color. (no pun intended)
47. I love yellow lilies and have only received them from one boy.
48. I went on my first date with my dad. And he gave me a purity ring.
49. I got my purity ring stuck in a lane line while rolling them up at work and it ended up slicing my finger almost half way through. Coolest feeling ever. Not! Worst part was I had to get my ring cut off cuz my finger was swelling so much.
50. I got a promotion every year for five years working for the City of North Las Vegas Aquatics. My boss liked me.
51. My boss’ boss bought me pearl earrings when I got my ears pierced when I was 18 and flew me to Denver this last summer to visit her daughter for her 21^st birthday. Her daughter happens to be one of my best friends btw.
52. I truly learned how to type fast when I got addicted to instant messaging. It happens to the best of us.
53. I get stressed easily and can tell when I am and then I get frustrated with myself. Then my brain explodes. Haha … sorry if this has ever effected you. It also caused my TMJ and ulcers during my mission … and they still hurt me now.
54. I was notorious for a lot of random things in high school. One of which was my ritual of sliding down the hall in my moccasins. :D
55. I love pictures A LOT. Please come into my bedroom if you don’t believe me.
56. If I had a contest with anyone to see who had thinner or finer hair… I would always win. But its soft
57. People often like to touch me. I am very soft. :D
58. I am seriously scared of crocodiles and alligators.
59. I am a very light sleeper. My alarm only has to go off once and I am awake. I have never pushed a snooze button in my life.
60. My grandma was amazing and went on a mission to Japan. I was her first granddaughter to go on a mission!! Love you Gma!
61. I participated in scouting for food every year up until I went to college. I was a strange child and really really loved it. My brothers thought I was crazy.
62. I love the smell of gasoline.
63. I really hate taking tests and often have bad test anxiety. Even when I know the material.
64. I know Elf and Finding Nemo pretty much by heart.
65. I am known for frequently bursting out into song. It just makes every activity brighter.
66. I am a deep people watcher. I love wondering what people’s lives involve. This is why I cannot study in the library because everyone’s lives are so much more interesting than my HW.
67. I love rain sooo much. Ok I love Vegas rain. Its so warm and smells so delicious!
68. I have the biggest phobia of zits and people popping them. BARF! Even if it’s on my own face.
69. I love stars. Real ones and just the shape. I saw my first shooting star when Dona, Sara, Mel and I were on our way to Bear Lake.
70. In elementary school my friends and I would play this game to see who could sit on the very hot black top longest before you couldn’t handle the burning anymore. We were the smart kids too… haha
71. I don’t like ice cream. Or jamba juice really either. Sorry everyone. I don’t really like chocolate either. I can only eat a little bit of sweets.
72. I aspire to have my own lingerie store when I’m older. One that is appropriate for Mormon couples to attend to without feeling dirty.
73. I hate talking to people on the phone who don’t know how to have a two sided conversation. Ug
74. My future home must have: a large bathtub (can at least fit two) and a porch swing. If my family couldn’t ever find me I was always sitting on our front porch, wishing I had a swing.
75. I have never been a super star athlete but I love going to games and cheering for people and am more knowledgeable about sports than most would think. Thanks to my 3 brothers.
76. I have been a bridesmaid 5 times so far. And have many to go. Always a bridesmaid never a bride. It’s all good though. I just love my friends! :D
77. I get very emotional when songs come on that match my emotion. This can be dangerous, especially if I’m sad.
78. I have never broken a bone or had stitches (other than when I got my wisdom teeth out). I did have to get a toothpick surgically removed from my foot. No stitches were needed.
79. I have always wanted weird Halloween costumes. For example I have been a huge goldfish and Ms.Yucca Mountain (I had an extra arm).
80. I love watching dance crews and can barely hold myself back from getting up and joining them. I have the sweetest Jabbawocckies T-shirt!
81. I have some of the sweetest kicks ever! Air Force Ones, Jordans and etc. I love me some ghetto shoes.
82. I have to work really hard at school to do decent. Unlike some of my siblings who just do it and rock at it naturally …. Lame
83. I have the coolest and cutest nephew ever… Janson! :D
84. I love kids and have been known to have a certain way with them. Or so I hear.
85. I used to volunteer at the hospital to work with the sick kids there all the time. One time I got to dress up like a valentines day fairy and delivered treats! So fun.
86. I am studying to be a child life specialist where I get to do stuff like the above. BEST JOB EVER!
87. I have a lot of friends all over the world that I talk to pretty regularly and I have never been out of the united states. Some examples are; Colombia, Germany, Chile and Mexico.
88. It is my life goal to NEVER play a game of DDR.
89. I don’t wear makeup … other than mascara and a tiny bit of cover up here and there.
90. I have seen the Beatles Love Cirque de Sole Show twice. I donno how to spell it but you get the idea. It’s so great.
91. I have had a job continuously since I was 16. Only with small gaps where I was looking for one while moving to Idaho and Provo and during and right after the mission.
92. I love when people sit on my feet to keep them warm and will often burrow them down under the person next to me without even noticing.
93. I love people even when they don’t love me back.
94. I know my Savior loves me! And I am his favorite (so are you!)
95. I love new and different people. I love loving all people.
96. I learned how to burp when I was 17 from my best friend Krista. People had been desperately trying my whole life to teach me how to get it out. NOW IM A PRO! :D
97. When im stressed or sad I forget to eat.
98. I am a foodie like none other. I love finding new places to eat and trying new foods. OOO food how I love thee
99. I laugh like a goat.. and seriously don’t mean to.
100. I miss wearing jellies
101. I LOVE YOU ALL!
     

The end... and thats just KAITLYN

being fake vent

So I have been thinking a lot lately about being

real vs. being fake.

The reason this has been on my mind is I have found myself wondering why boys like girls who are fake... with lots of make up ... bleached hair... who dress nasty... fake tans... you know all that stuff!! (please dont take offense if you do some or all of these things... i love you still :D)

This might sound a little bit pathetic but I LOVE BEING MYSELF!! I am happy with who I am. I dont need to change things about me to be happy with what I have to work with. The only problem is I get kinda frustrated when others dont love "me" as much as I do. HAHA... wow I sound conceited.. but I dont mean it in a proud way. I in no degree feel like I am above anyone, and I definitely know I have many flaws that I need to work on, but its easy to get a little frustrated when the boys I have an eye on walk right past my little invisible self to the girl who is full of glitter and make up grime! HAHA!
bahhhhhhhhhhhh
Ok .. i should stop im just kinda venting... I JUST DONT GET IT!! O well.. I will just stick to being me because that's the only thing I know how to be.. .and then I can know that people who do like me, like me for who I am... no matter what time it is or where i am going or what people think i will be ... PURELY 100% NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.... just KAITLYN!

*sigh*

Note to a loved one...

So I was writing a letter to a friend of mine who is really struggling and as I was writing it something came to my mind... so I just pulled out a paragraph because I think this is something I need to be reminded of often.

"I know that things will work out. I have no doubt in that. I am trying so hard to apply that \ hope into my own life and i know that its hard to do. Sometimes I feel as though I have done it all wrong and that there is no possible way that things will turn out right or that I will be really happy. But then I remember that I have made promises to Someone who will never NEVER break his end of the deal. And the best thing is ... He will not punish us for doing our best. Even if it may be a small display of attempts compared to others who seem to have this great ability to succeed. O how lucky we are to know that He knows our hearts, He knows our desires, He knows who we are, what we need and what we will become!!"

yep... just reminding myself

just Kaitlyn

A pause ... for some fresh air!

A pause ... for some fresh air!

So school has began once again in what we know as happy valley, UT. I feel as though I have been eaten alive already here at school. Me writing today in my blog is a pause from my hours of homework. I donno what I did to myself taking 6 difficult classes at once but man o man... i have been reading straight for at least 3 hours and have much more to go!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

School has never been my favorite thing but I have been working really hard and praying a lot about it to have a greater desire to learn. I know that its important and so I figured if I gotta do it why not love it? But after carrying home my loads of textbooks after getting off work at 930 pm and having to wake up the next day at 6:45 am... and all this reading and work going on, I have realized this will be much more difficult than anticipated. Go figures!

Which reminds me of how when you pray for some talent, or attribute God just sends you difficulties to help you learn. There is never an easy button for learning anything.

WOULDN'T THAT JUST BE FANTASTIC IF THERE WAS THOUGH???

*DING! YOU ARE NOW SMARTER*

Wonderful.. now back to reality.
So I have decided to use this time to remind myself of things that make me happy. There are a lot of them because I am easily satisfied in the little things but for the next few lines humor me... in taking a moment for some fresh air!

BREATHE IN:
movies that make me want to be better and make me feel all tingly inside
pictures of my nephew
when my mom plays with my hair
writing a note to tell someone what i love about them
smiling (smilings my favorite.. haha)
getting a Spanish word stuck in my head and saying it over and over again cuz it sounds cool
hot cheetos
hot cheetos with chocolate milk
my sweet roomies (past and present)
hoodies
pajamas
the accomplishment that comes with finishing your homework
thinking of or talking to my investigators and recent converts
cooking a delicious meal for someone who appreciates it
hugging and being hugged
forgiving people
singing and dancing all over the house as i get ready for the day
when people randomly say something nice to me
my family
anything with manatees
and many many more things

BREATHE OUT!

Take some time to think of the things that make you happy... and breathe them in a little more :D

back to hw for me!
-just Kaitlyn

tick tick tick tick.. .BOOOM

So I feel like my life is just about to start...
Like a ticking time bomb that I cant wait to watch explode!!! (dont think that happens too often with bombs)

So these last few weeks for me have been a real struggle, im not gonna lie. I knew moving to Provo was right... I prayed about it got the prompting to go and so HERE I IS... the problem is once I got here things seemed to continue to go in the wrong direction...

I will save you the whole sob story but in a few words it was :

LONELY, SICK, VERY SICK BRAKE UPS, NO JOB, NO CAR...

So in my mind I was like... REALLY??? Did I do something wrong?
WHAT THE PIXIE STICKS AM I DOING HERE????

But luckily I have faith and confidence in God. I realized that even if things are going wacky wrong... If I follow Him its going to be A OK! So I kept on MOVING FORWARD... and now here I sit (this little bomb) waiting to blow because...

1)Just had a super GREAT interview where they kept saying "we are VERY impressed" (even if i dont get it at least i know im "impressive".

2)I am not alone because my sister in law is here and my momma is on her way (JOY).

3)Saturday is moving day so I get to move in with my roomies and be in the middle of the social crazyness so it doesnt matter that I have a car anymore!

4) Due to my sickness I am almost back to my pre-mission size. (Although I dont think i will ever get back to that because it was semi-unhealthy). Well.. truthfully this whole point is semi-unhealthy... owells.

5) I can actually breathe out of my nose 80% of the day now... Air is sooo welcome in my nose!

6) I get to go to education week and take classes like: "How to Continue the Perfecting Process without Becoming Discouraged" and "Learning from the lives of Modern-Day Apostles". So I can spiritually revamp myself! WOOOOT!

7) I love that I don't need a boy to be happy! (well for now... i mean in the future... well anyways)

8) Did I mention my mom is coming???? I LOVE HER and Miss her with me!

9) I start school soon and cant wait to have a regular schedule again!

10) I JUST LOVE BEING ALIVE!!!!


OK... now that you see how I am like bomb (and the bomb haha)... I have just learned that sometimes you just have to decide to be happy ... even if everything around you is trying to tell you not to be. Also... dont doubt the promptings you receive. If it was right when you had it ... it will be right when the times get tough. This reminds me of one of my favorite talks by Elder Holland (LDS.org - Liahona Article - “Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence” ). Check it out. It helps me to remember the things God has taught me.

Anyways love yall!

-Just Kaitlyn

This is now just Kaitlyn's blog!

HELLLO ALL!
So I have decided that since I am no longer "Sister Wadsworth" (out loud at least ... i will always be in my head)..
this blog will be turning into the "just Kaitlyn blog" post mission, discussing about my life, my challenges, my awesomeness, my not so awesomeness and so on.

Just cuz who knows when this little fishy will find a man (its a very big sea ok?? ?GULP!) so who wants to wait for a family blog when you can have yer very own!!??
dunn dunnn na naaaa
I will keep my former title because I have come to realize that the process of truly becoming an instrument in God's hands is a life long battle and learning experience.

SOOOO LET THE GAMES BEGIN.. This may very well become your favorite blog.. due to my randomness... awkwardness and just pure happy go lucky ways!

LOVE ALL!
-just Kaitlyn

Home Again

So this is Kaitlyn.

I just wanted to post on here a little bit about my missionary experience since a lot of people have asked me about it. I don't think words can quite express how grateful I am for the opportunity I was given to serve in the New York, New York North mission. The best mission for me!

So for those of you who don't know I served as a sister missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for the past year and a half. I was called to serve English speaking in the New York New York North mission. This mission covered the burrows of Manhattan, the Bronx, upstate NY up to Poughkeepsie and a small corner of Connecticut. My mission has a wide variety of languages and so there were missionaries there who spoke English, Spanish, Portuguese, ASL, and Chinese. Not to mention the fact that we had loads of foreign missionaries who got to preach in their native tongues also (French, creole, twi, Japanese, Russian and so on). Within our mission we had the poorest zip code in the nation AND the richest. So needless to say NY is very diverse and boy did we have to always be on our toes. I was lucky enough to serve my entire mission in the city. I spent 15 months in Manhattan and 3 months in the Bronx. Yay for NYC transit! I met people from all over the world and loved it!

So enough silly background. Like I was saying before it would be a great task to describe to you each experience and blessing that I had during my service (maybe i can rent out my journal for people who are really itchin for details... pretty sure that person doesn't exist). So instead I will just hit a few key points that I feel are worth mentioning.

First of all and prob one of the greatest things that I gained more and learned more on my mission is that Jesus Christ is our Savior and Redeemer. He is the way. Not just like... o it might be a nice idea to follow Him... No He is the ONLY way to true happiness, peace and fulfillment in this life. Only through Him and by Him is it possible for us to reach our full potential. He can heal and cleanse us. He makes me whole. He really is my everything.

Another thing that I was challenged about is my belief in the Restoration of the fullness of the Gospel. Now what that means is I believe that because God loves us and wants us to return to live with Him, He has brought back every detail that we need in this life (in a clear, simple way) so that we can have knowledge of the path that will take us to Him. How He has done this is what was often hard for others to believe. But its God, He can do it all and the truth is, its not anything new. God called prophets and gave them authority to act in His name long long long ago all the way back to Adam, Moses, Noah and so on. So part of my belief is that after a time of darkness God has called a prophet again on the earth to communicate to us the information that God needs us to know. HOW GREAT IS THAT????? O it just makes me so happy! Joseph Smith was the first of our more modern prophets (You can read his whole story on www.mormon.org). While serving my mission I had the opportunity to share this good news with the people in New York. It just makes sense to me that our Heavenly Father wouldn't want us to be in the dark, so He calls prophets to be like a light house to help us understand more. Through testifying and learning my testimony of these things has been strengthened.

Ok so I have realized that I am not even scratching the surface. So I have decided to just insert here some of what I typed up for my mission president about my mission experience: TA DAA

Becoming An Instrument In His Hands

“And Jesus, walking by the sea of Galilee… saith unto them, Follow me and I will make you fishers of men. And they straightway left their nets, and followed Him” (Matt 4:18-20). I have always admired the apostle’s willingness to quickly drop everything and do as the Lord commanded them. These nets represented their lives. It was their job, their source of income and life but they knew, through their faith in the Savior, that they had been called to a greater duty. They quickly abandoned those things that they thought were of most worth to pursue that which they could not yet see. What they did know was that what the Savior had to offer was much more than what they could receive with their own nets. As I was thinking about serving a mission the spirit confirmed to me that my Heavenly Father needed me to go. I realized that this was my call. It wasn’t the best timing or the easiest route I could take at that time of my life but because God had asked me to I decided I needed to straightway leave my personal “nets” and follow Him. I left on my mission more swiftly than I had intended, wondering how I would do something I didn’t quite feel prepared to do, but I like the apostles of old knew that even though my “nets” may have been what I thought was good enough, God had a greater duty and a greater plan for me. I cannot express how grateful I am to my Heavenly Father for allowing me to have this opportunity to serve as His missionary but I will do my best to as I describe some of the ways I have been blessed by my service.

At the start of my mission I knew I had a lot of things I needed to work on but as I have continued my service I found that list of shortcomings continued to grow. I often struggled with my inability to be perfect and finding a balance between pushing myself and being satisfied with my efforts. Luckily one of the greatest lessons I have learned while on my mission is that with the power of the Atonement we can overcome all shortcomings. We are not set in stone. With Christ we have the power to change. Every quality and characteristic that Christ has can be developed and this is the purpose of this life. We can rely on the Atonement in all aspects of life. We can draw upon its healing power to help us for all things imperfect within us. Heavenly Father did not set us up to fail. He will qualify us and support us. I am grateful for every opportunity to change through the Atonement’s power.

My greatest desire as a missionary has been to be a trusted tool in God’s hands. I have wanted so badly for Him to know that He can count on me. I wanted be an instrument that would always be ready when called upon and that the job would get done right. This desire has helped me to realize the importance of obedience. As we live by the laws that our Heavenly Father has given us He is bound. He cannot withhold blessings if we have qualified for them. As a missionary there are many rules to live by, which to some might become burdensome or tiring. My missionary service has taught me that the commandments are gifts that provided us with access to the blessings that our Heavenly Father so anxiously wants to give us. One of the blessings that come from obedience is greater faith. In the bible dictionary it states “strong faith is developed by obedience to the gospel of Jesus Christ”. I know that God loves us because as I have followed His commandments I have been happier, my life has been more successful and the spirit has been with me more fully. I have learned that if you want God to trust you with big and exciting things, He has to know that you will handle it correctly and by living by His laws. That is a simple prerequisite. I learned that if you want to know God and our Savior’s love more deeply in your life, it will come as we live by Their teachings. I am grateful for every opportunity to do as He asks.

My love for the Savior has grown tremendously while serving here. Numberless times, day after day, people would say harsh things to me or ridicule my beliefs. At first it was really difficult for me to have others tell me that I was wrong and attack the things that I love most. Then through study and prayer I realized that had been given the opportunity to stand by my Savior. I was able to have a small taste of the pain and anguish He went through during His mortal ministry. These experiences have blessed my life because they have developed my love for Jesus Christ. I love Him more because I know what He did was hard because it was hard for me. It’s not easy to be the only one standing up for what is right. This has changed my outlook on the opposition we face, and I have been blessed for a chance to stand by Him who has stood by me in all my times of need and it. Although my experience was much less intense than His, I am grateful for every opportunity to have felt a bit of what He felt and to know what it takes to stand by Him.

My perspective on the gospel has changed during the duration of my mission. I have developed a greater understanding of how exciting this work is. I remember the moment when I realized that this is no simple thing we are proclaiming. I had this fire burn within me and this great desire to yell from the top of every building to let people know the exciting news that the truth has been restored. We believe we have a modern prophet, that God has revealed new scripture, that we have the keys to Salvation. These are exciting things and I am excited to share it. I knew that it was important before but it brought on a whole new meaning when I saw the joy that it brought to a wandering soul and the clarity it provided to someone who was lost. Being born into the church these exciting truths became normal therefore it was so enriching to grasp how glorious this gospel really is. I am grateful for every opportunity to share this exciting news.

Something I have learned to be thankful for is that I was able to serve in the United States. Due to the strength of the wards here it made it more possible to see the importance of member missionary work. I have learned the excitement and focus a ward needs to be ready for converts to come flowing in and to stay active. It has made me really excited to continue to serve throughout my life. If we want missionary efforts to successfully move forward it needs to start with our members. I am determined to make missionary work part of my everyday life. I am grateful for every opportunity I have had to learn how to continue my missionary efforts throughout my life.

One thing that has brought a lot of peace to me during my mission is knowing that God is in control. He did not send me here by accident. My mission was planned and prepared perfectly for me. It was planned in a way that it would give me the greatest opportunities to become more like my Savior. Every challenge, every success, every companion and conversion were perfectly picked by a God who knows who I am and what I will become. He has perfectly planned our paths. Each missionary is sent to where they need to be and where God needs them to be, so there is no use in comparing. I know that God needed me here and more that I needed to be here. I can go on forever about the things I have learned but the greatest thing I have learned is that if we take upon the “nets” that our Savior calls us to bear we will become significantly more than if we had held tightly to our limited personal nets. I know that I am full of imperfections and inadequacies but with Him I am made perfect through the Atonement. An Atonement that I know is boundless and without end, so I may constantly draw upon it. I am and forever will be grateful for the call my Savior has made to me and for this time He has given me to be refined and polished under His watchful care. I am grateful for all of these opportunities.

Well I hope this satisfies yall. I truly loved my mission and can't wait to see what experiences and opportunities God has waiting for me now. If you have any questions or want more details feel free to email me or comment here!

LOVE SISTER WADSWORTH